It is official–I’m old! I didn’t discover this by looking into a mirror or hearing my joints pop and crackle when I get out of a chair.
Nope, I discovered it when I had Hank, my dog, out for a walk at forest Park. As I walked, I could hear the voices of some young whipper snappers playing at the band shell: “Hey look at that dog.” Then I heard another voice: “See that old man over there.” I turned to see where the old man was, and then I heard the voice again: “That dog belongs to that old man over there.”
It was then that I realized that not only was I the “old man” who was “over there,” I was also “over the hill old man” in the estimation of those kids.
I had to chuckle as I thought about how my perspective on age has changed. When I was in high school, I thought my parents were ancient. Now that I am old and decrepit, I know how young my parents were.
I’ve heard it said that age is a state of mind. Let me share the old-age wit and wisdom from people who have said: You know you are old when:
1. You and your teeth don’t sleep together.
2. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any.
3. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you’re not eating cereal.
4. Your back goes out but you stay home.
5. When happy hour is a nap.
6. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to you, and you always hated it.
7. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
8. It takes twice as long – to look half as good.
9. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
10. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
Earlier this week, I heard Carlos Slim, the Mexican billionaire who is worth an estimated $72.1 billion, say that 60 is the new 30. I like his thinking–this “old Man” is just half as old as those kids think he is.