I just returned home from a meal that tickled my tongue and one that added to the clogging of my arteries.  Even though it isn’t a steady part of my diet, once in a while I just crave a burger from Sonic.

I’ve come to realize that any time food tastes really good, I should probably spit it out of my mouth.  I’ve also come to the sad realization that healthy doesn’t taste as good as its counterpart.

Back to Sonic—when my wife and I started to order, we noticed an evening special that consisted of 2 burgers, 2 drinks, and 2 sides for $7.99.

When the meal arrived it cost $9.02.  I politely asked how the price of the meal went from $7.99 to $9.02.  I was told that the sides had to be tater tots, and since I had asked for onion rings the price went to $9.02.

When I looked at the advertising insert a little closer, I noticed a little smudge on the lower left corner that was actually words.   Let qualify words; these were words so tiny I thought I was going to need the Hubble Telescope to read them.

After a few moments that led to strained and blood-shot eyes, I was able to discern the very fine print.  The special did require that my fine dining experience consist of tater tots and not onion rings.

As I ate my meal with grease dripping down my chin and staining my shirt, I decided I should take a little closer look at the advertising on the side of the Sonic.   My litigious mind noticed three signs:

Sign #1 spoke of their hotdogs that are made with 100% pure beef.  Hmmm, but what percent of the total hotdog is pure beef?

Sign #2 spoke of the many choices available when a drink is ordered.  Isn’t this the problem today?  Does a person really need 168,894 drink combinations to choose from?  Sometimes I feel like I’ve lost my way in a rainbow sherbet world, and I yearn for the simpler times of just chocolate and vanilla—too many distractions and not enough focus.

Sign #3 spoke of half price drinks from 2 to 4 PM.  Wouldn’t it more accurate to call it what it really is:  You’ve Already Had Too Much To Drink By This Time of Day Hour!? 

I realize this may not be typical of the articles I usually write, but please remember I’m writing under the influence of cholesterol.