relationships

Pretty Please

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img_1253When my children were toddlers and they wanted something, they were taught to say: “Please.” When they really wanted something, they would look at me with their smiling eyes, and say: “Pretty please.”

I was reminded of my kid’s pretty please this morning while I was reading in I John 3:22-23: “Whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do the things that are pleasing to him.  Now this is his commandment: that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he gave us the commandment.”

After reading this verse, I was left with two questions:

  • What is it that is pleasing to God?
  • Do I do carefully and consistently do what is pleasing to God?

Micah 6:8 is the answer to the first question, but it leads to a series of other questions: What does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

  1. Do I act justly and live a life of sincerity?
  • John admonished his readers to “not love with word or with tongue but in deed and truth (NKJV).”
  • Another translation of this verse says: “We must show love through actions that are sincere, not through empty words (GWT).”
  1. Do I love mercy?
  • Jesus said to, “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful (Luke 6:36).”
  • Mercy is equated with God’s loyal love for His people, and it is one of several attributes that define God.
  • Psalm 89:14: “Equity and justice are the foundation of your throne. Loyal love and faithfulness characterize your rule.”
  1. Do I walk humbly?
  • What is the attitude of my heart towards God and my fellow man? Is it arrogance or humility?
  • James says that, “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble . . . humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up (4:6, 10).”
  • Paul said in Ephesians 4 that we should, “Be humble. Be gentle. Be patient. Tolerate one another in an atmosphere thick with love (The Voice).”

After thinking about all of this, I’m still left with one question: Do I act justly, or do I just act?  How about you?

Life: Its Measure and Message

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Life, what is it?  In one form or another, most people have asked this question at some measure-subpagetime in their life.  It’s one of the many themes of Psalms, Proverbs, and the book of James.

  • James asked: For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. ~James 4:14
  • A similar question is asked in Psalm 8:4: What is man that You are mindful of him, And the son of man that You visit him?
  • David inquired about the measure of his days or the length of life in Psalm 39:

“O Lord,  make me know my end  and what is the  measure of my days;  let me know how fleeting I am! Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!

While we might be concerned about the measure of life, we should also be concerned about the message of our lives. Solomon addressed the message of within the context of character and its influence. In Proverbs, he calls attention to the person who is:

  • Ungodly man who digs up evil ~16:27
  • Perverse man sows strife ~Proverbs 16:28
  • Violent man entices his neighbor, and leads him in a way that is not good ~Proverbs 16:29
  • Proud: Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him ~Proverbs 26:12
  • Righteous man who may fall seven times And rise again, But the wicked shall fall by calamity. ~Proverbs 24:16
  • A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself, But the simple pass on and are punished ~Proverbs 22:3
  • Undisciplined: Do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him ~ Proverbs 29:20
  • Unjust man who is an abomination to the righteous ~ Proverbs 29:27

I encourage you take some time to reflect on the measure and message of your life, and remember that it can be:

  • Brief in comparison to eternity: Man is like a breath; His days are like a passing shadow (Psalm 144:4)
  • Full of opportunity to make a difference in the life of another: Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for God is pleased with such sacrifices (Hebrews 13:16).

As in water the face is reflected as a face, so a person’s heart reflects the person.         ~Proverbs 27:19

Carnac the Magnificent

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carnacLast night was a night of weird dreams, and for some reason I was on the Johnny Carson show playing the role of Carnac the Magnificent. I had the routine down perfect: I held a sealed envelope to my head, and I gave the answer to the question inside.

I said: The answer is, we would be in a world of trouble.

Johnny took the envelope from me, opened it up, and read the question: What would the world be if everyone were to be just like Johnny?

When I woke up this morning, I thought about the dream and asked myself the question: What would the world be if everyone were to be just like me?

As I wondered about my answer, I remembered the words of Albert Schweitzer: The full measure of a man is not to be found in the man himself, but in the colors and textures that come alive in others because of him.

As I reflect on the dream and on the words of Schweitzer, I think the common link is influence: How do I influence the world as a whole and the lives of others as individuals? When people examine my life, what do they see?

  • Is it a person of pale green who is full of envy or one who admires the accomplishments of others?
  • Do they see the drab darkness of hate or the bright hues of love and light?
  • Do I weave the thread of encouragement into conversations so I can motivate others to believe and achieve? Helen Keller said: Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement…no pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.
  • Am I a good role model and an example in my speech, conduct, love, faith and purity (I Timothy 4:12)?
  • Do I see obstacles as opportunities or do I wither under the weight of what might be?
  • Do I live the exemplary life of Paul, who said: Join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us (Philippians 3:17).

All of this brings me back to my question: What would the world be if everyone were to be just like me?

Jerry Reed: Gold Mines and Shafts

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jreedIf you know anything about a 4-wheel drive vehicle, you probably know it has a transfer case, and if you know a little something about psychology, you most likely understand the concept of transference. An incident occurred earlier in the week that caused me to think of both.

When I arrived at work on Tuesday, I found a new welcome sign painted on the side of the building.  It wasn’t a message of love, but one that expressed a pathetic dislike for the police in some rather blunt and rude language.

Why would a person use the FCC building as a canvas to proclaim his dislike for the El Dorado Police Department? The answer is transference.  Instead of addressing the anger he has for the police, to the police, he projected those feelings upon the church.

I know very little about the individual who wielded the can of spray paint, and I know nothing about his circumstances in life; but, as I said in another post: We may not be responsible for the circumstances of life, but we are responsible for the way we respond to them.

To understand a case of transference, it might help to have a basic understanding of a transfer case.  If you drive a 4-wheel drive vehicle, your transfer case transfers power from the transmission to the front and rear axles through the drive shafts.

In a sense, the transfer case acts as a brain that synchronizes the flow of power to the rear wheels and the front wheels through the drive shafts. I’m not sure how the brain of this vandal was working, but I do know the flow of power was misdirected.

I’m also pretty sure the future has few gold mines for this misfit, and I’m certain we’ve been left with the shaft to clean up.

As I think of this incident, I’m left with a question: Which is more difficult, cleaning brick and mortar or cleansing the thought process of the mind?

It’s been said that charisma is the transference of enthusiasm; what thoughts, feelings, and emotions do you project upon others?

MLK: The Ultimate Measure of a Man

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On a recent trip to Wichita, I took the turnpike, and as I entered the access ramp, I saw a bright orange sign with a warning:  Right Lane Closed Ahead.RightLaneClosedLarge

As I contemplated the message of the sign, I thought:  If the right lane is closed, does this mean I have to drive in the wrong lane? 

Sometimes decisions are difficult, and we have very few options; but, others can be made by the simple flip of a coin and either heads or tails decides a course of action.

Success and failure are the results of the decisions we make and the paths we take in life.  Robert Frost wrote of this when he penned The Road Not Taken.

Some people find comfort in going along with the crowd, and they choose the well-traveled path. There are others who are either more adventurous or who are willing to challenge the status quo, so they take the road less traveled.

Today is a day set aside to honor Martin Luther King Jr; a man who had a dream; a man of determination; and a man who chose to walk the road less traveled

Dr. King understood that, Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.

While darkness and hatred are a challenge to the ethos of the present day, they’re not race specific. There are elements within each race who inflict acts of darkness and hatred upon their own race as well as others.

To drive out the darkness with love, we need to think intelligently and respond with passion. Too many people, black and white, are reacting with an impassioned zeal that torches buildings, shoots the innocent, and who call evil good and good evil.

As Dr. King said: The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. To be a part of the solution and to help spread the light, we can either be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.

Words and Worms at Sunrise

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rooster-early-birdIf it’s true that the early bird gets the worm, then the authors of the Psalms must have harvested plenty of them.  Many of these poetic proclamations suggest the writers were early risers: My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord; In the morning I will direct it to You, And I will look up (Psalm 5:3).

Henry Ward Beecher may have been thinking of this verse when he said: The first hour of waking is the rudder that guides the whole day.

Whether it’s morning, noon, or night, I encourage you to set a time to reflect on the four verses below and use them as rudders to help guide your life:

  • Relax in His peace: “In peace, I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety (Ps. 4:8).”
  • Refresh yourself in His mercies: “The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made (Ps. 145:9).”
  • Rejoice in His love: “I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation (Ps. 13:5).”
  • Remain in His presence: “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty (Ps. 91:1).”

 

I’ll close with this thought that’s worth thinking: Remember that it’s, “Because of the Lord’s faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness (Lamentations 3:2-23).”

When Life Gets Messy

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lhStan Laurel and Oliver Hardy were known for their slapstick comedy, and they appeared in many films from 1926 to 1944.  The signature dialogue in their scripts was the disdainful comment: Well, here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into.

I know I’ve gotten myself into many fine messes, and when my life has been a wild mess, God’s taken me to the wilderness to get my attention. In fact, this is an underlying theme of the Old Testament: God intervenes in the wild messes of life.

No one likes to be taken to be taken to the woodshed, but there are times when God disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness (Hebrews 12:10). God does this to, instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you (Psalm 32:8).

I’ve come to realize that some of my problems are self-inflicted due to the poor choices I make; but, it is also true that I’ve been an innocent bystander caught-up in the circumstances of life. Like Joseph, we need to realize that God can be at work; and, we need to take an eternal perspective on life: As for you, you meant to harm me, but God intended it for a good purpose, so he could preserve the lives of many people, as you can see this day (Genesis 50:20).

While it’s hard to see the silver lining in the dust clouds of the desert, when we learn to trust God, we eventually make it to promised land and enjoy His blessings.

Jacob as an individual and Israel as a whole learned this lesson:

He found him out in the wilderness, in an empty, windswept wasteland. He threw his arms around him, lavished attention on him, guarding him as the apple of his eye. He was like an eagle hovering over its nest, overshadowing its young. Then spreading its wings, lifting them into the air, teaching them to fly. God alone led him; there was not a foreign god in sight. God lifted him onto the hilltops, so he could feast on the crops in the fields. He fed him honey from the rock, oil from granite crags, curds of cattle and the milk of sheep, the choice cuts of lambs and goats, fine rams, high-quality wheat, and the blood of grapes: you drank good wine! ~Isaiah 32:10-14 (The Message)

Because the messes of life will either define you or refine you, I’ve learned to ask a question:  What can I learn from this?  Then I make the decision to trust God, and I’m confident that He is able to orchestrate everything to work toward something good and beautiful when we love Him and accept His invitation to live according to His plan (Romans 8:28).

Symphony or One-Man Band?

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oscar-mayer-weinermobile-04After watching all of the hot-dogging during professional football this past weekend, I’ve come to the conclusion that the NFL needs to sign a licensing agreement with Oscar Mayer.  These ego-stroking narcissistic acts and taunting tantrums are ridiculous displays of self-aggrandizement.

Like the mythological Narcissus, some people are so in love with themselves and their self-reflection, they miss the beauty that surrounds them. Narcissus had placed himself at the center of the universe; his prideful attitude marred the true image of love, and his saccharin sentimentalism had the appeal of a rancorous brass bell and clanging cymbal.

Even if he were the most talented player alive, Narcissus would see very little playing time if he was on a team coached by Kansas State’s Bill Snyder.  While Coach Snyder is well-known for his winning record on the field, it’s what he does off the field that is even most important; he mentors young people and helps them build lives of character.

Over his years of coaching, Snyder has developed his 16 Goals for Success, and I find the first three on this list absent from much of our egocentric society:16g

  1. Commitment: To common goals and to being successful.
  2. Unselfishness: There is no “I” in TEAM.
  3. Unity: Come together as never before.

After Kansas State defeated Texas A&M in the Texas Bowl, Snyder commented: Good things happen when we play as a family.  This is more than a sound bite, it’s a theme that’s at the core of Snyder’s legacy.

When the University and Alumni wanted to name the Stadium in the coach’s honor, Snyder agreed, but with one stipulation; it had to include the word family, so it was christened, Bill Snyder Family Football Stadium.

As a Coach, Snyder strives for the harmonious sound of the symphony, and he has little room for the narcissist’s one-man band. Snyder’s philosophy is a practical application of a New Testament principle that I encourage you to embrace: Each of you as a good manager must use the gift that God has given you to serve others. ~I Peter 4:10

The Gratitude List

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Like most mornings, I started today with a cup of coffee and my Bible. While I was reading, I thought about God’s wonderful deeds for mankind, and my lack of gratitude:

 

Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.

~Psalm 107:8-9

This morning I give thanks to these people I’ve never met:

  • Thomas Edison for the light that shines about my head.
  • Benjamin Franklin for the glasses I wear.
  • The Wright brothers and their work in the field of aviation.
  • Charles Babbage, the Father of Computers
  • James Watt for his inventive mind that gave us the steam engine.
  • Alexander Bell who gave the first truly functional telephone.
  • Galileo because his genius improved accuracy of the compass; without which I’d still be lost in the wilderness.
  • Henry Ford and his “moving assembly line” which allowed for the mass production of automobiles.
  • Willis Carrier for the air conditioning that I enjoy during the hot and humid summer days.

Expressing gratitude and giving thanks are themes that run throughout the pages of the Bible. In his second letter to Timothy, Paul wrote: I thank God . . .  as I remember you 2constantly in my prayers night and day (1:3).

I encourage you to mimic Paul: Take some time today to reflect on the past year; express your gratitude, and say thanks to those who have helped you along the way and made your life a little easier.

Ryan Lochte: A Second Chance

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Ryan Lochte

Most Americans were familiar with Ryan Lochte long before the Olympics began in Rio. Now that the Olympics have ended, it will be a long time before the people in Brazil will forget him.

As a member of Team USA, Lochte has been known as one of swimming’s fiercest competitors.   Today, however, he is known more for his lapse of judgment and his questionable antics.

Although his behavior has led to a loss of his four major sponsors including  Speedo USA and Ralph Lauren, Pine Bros Softish Throat Drops, has just signed the 12-time Olympic medalist as a spokesman to advertise their company.

Rider McDowell, CEO of Pine Bros said, “We all make mistakes, but they’re rarely given front page scrutiny . . . I’m confident that Pine Bros fans will support our decision to give Ryan a second chance.”

As someone who has needed a second chance on more than one occasion, I applaud the decision of Pine Bros, and I’m reminded that God also gives people a second chance. Think about an incident in Jonah’s life and this principle from the Proverbs:

  • After Jonah’s gut-wrenching experience, The word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: “Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you. ~Jonah 3:1-2
  • A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance. ~Proverbs 28:13

Examine the lives of Jacob, Samson, Peter and Paul, and you’ll discover that God is the God of second chances. He is the God of grace, of mercy,  of forgiveness, and the God of beginning again.

As Paul said,  if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. ~2 Corinthians 5:17