Author: insightbyseymour

Unwanted Memories: Is There An Answer?

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droofFor many people, yesterday’ shooting in Fort Lauderdale stirred-up unwanted memories of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold in Columbine and Dylann Roof in Charleston. We should not be surprised that these events are beyond our comprehension, because they are often perpetrated by people who, unlike most,  have no concept of conscious.

Sociopath and psychopath are words that have been used to described people like Harris, Klebold, and Roof, as well as Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, and Dennis Rader. The DSM-5 classifies sociopathy and psychopathy as Antisocial Personality Disorders and sets certain criteria for a diagnosis:

  • A disregard for laws, social mores, and the rights of others
  • A failure to feel remorse or guilt
  • A tendency to display violent behavior
  • Sociopaths are agitated, disorganized individuals, and they are unable to blend in with society
  • Psychopaths are high-functioning individuals who manipulate people with their can charming personality. While they do not actually feel emotion, they can learn to mimic emotions to blends in with the crowd.

Due to their lack of conscience, people with these disorders process emotions like a blind man negotiates a maze; one doesn’t feel, the other doesn’t see, and both find the task daunting.

Dr. Martha Stout a Clinical Psychologist and former Harvard Medical School instructor, offers this assessment:

An emotional word is love, hate, anger, mom, death, anything that we associate with an emotional reaction. A nonemotional word is lamp, street, hair, rug, that kind of thing. If I had electrodes hooked up to you right now and I said a string of words, and some of them were emotional and some were not, I’d get a larger spike on the emotional words. We are wired to process those words more readily than neutral, nonemotional words. We are very emotional creatures. But sociopaths listen as evenly to emotional words as they do to lamp or book—there’s no neurological difference. ~THE SOCIOPATH NEXT DOOR

The obvious question is: How do you treat someone who has no conscious?  The prerequisite to change is a desire to do so, and without a conscious there is no desire. Without a conscience there is no good or evil, and the need for true healing is a recognition of that which plagues the heart.

One thing that never changes in these instances is the need for prayer, and I encourage you to pray for those who were touched by the tragic events of yesterday.

Words and Worms at Sunrise

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rooster-early-birdIf it’s true that the early bird gets the worm, then the authors of the Psalms must have harvested plenty of them.  Many of these poetic proclamations suggest the writers were early risers: My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord; In the morning I will direct it to You, And I will look up (Psalm 5:3).

Henry Ward Beecher may have been thinking of this verse when he said: The first hour of waking is the rudder that guides the whole day.

Whether it’s morning, noon, or night, I encourage you to set a time to reflect on the four verses below and use them as rudders to help guide your life:

  • Relax in His peace: “In peace, I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety (Ps. 4:8).”
  • Refresh yourself in His mercies: “The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made (Ps. 145:9).”
  • Rejoice in His love: “I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation (Ps. 13:5).”
  • Remain in His presence: “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty (Ps. 91:1).”

 

I’ll close with this thought that’s worth thinking: Remember that it’s, “Because of the Lord’s faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness (Lamentations 3:2-23).”

When Life Gets Messy

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lhStan Laurel and Oliver Hardy were known for their slapstick comedy, and they appeared in many films from 1926 to 1944.  The signature dialogue in their scripts was the disdainful comment: Well, here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into.

I know I’ve gotten myself into many fine messes, and when my life has been a wild mess, God’s taken me to the wilderness to get my attention. In fact, this is an underlying theme of the Old Testament: God intervenes in the wild messes of life.

No one likes to be taken to be taken to the woodshed, but there are times when God disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness (Hebrews 12:10). God does this to, instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you (Psalm 32:8).

I’ve come to realize that some of my problems are self-inflicted due to the poor choices I make; but, it is also true that I’ve been an innocent bystander caught-up in the circumstances of life. Like Joseph, we need to realize that God can be at work; and, we need to take an eternal perspective on life: As for you, you meant to harm me, but God intended it for a good purpose, so he could preserve the lives of many people, as you can see this day (Genesis 50:20).

While it’s hard to see the silver lining in the dust clouds of the desert, when we learn to trust God, we eventually make it to promised land and enjoy His blessings.

Jacob as an individual and Israel as a whole learned this lesson:

He found him out in the wilderness, in an empty, windswept wasteland. He threw his arms around him, lavished attention on him, guarding him as the apple of his eye. He was like an eagle hovering over its nest, overshadowing its young. Then spreading its wings, lifting them into the air, teaching them to fly. God alone led him; there was not a foreign god in sight. God lifted him onto the hilltops, so he could feast on the crops in the fields. He fed him honey from the rock, oil from granite crags, curds of cattle and the milk of sheep, the choice cuts of lambs and goats, fine rams, high-quality wheat, and the blood of grapes: you drank good wine! ~Isaiah 32:10-14 (The Message)

Because the messes of life will either define you or refine you, I’ve learned to ask a question:  What can I learn from this?  Then I make the decision to trust God, and I’m confident that He is able to orchestrate everything to work toward something good and beautiful when we love Him and accept His invitation to live according to His plan (Romans 8:28).

Symphony or One-Man Band?

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oscar-mayer-weinermobile-04After watching all of the hot-dogging during professional football this past weekend, I’ve come to the conclusion that the NFL needs to sign a licensing agreement with Oscar Mayer.  These ego-stroking narcissistic acts and taunting tantrums are ridiculous displays of self-aggrandizement.

Like the mythological Narcissus, some people are so in love with themselves and their self-reflection, they miss the beauty that surrounds them. Narcissus had placed himself at the center of the universe; his prideful attitude marred the true image of love, and his saccharin sentimentalism had the appeal of a rancorous brass bell and clanging cymbal.

Even if he were the most talented player alive, Narcissus would see very little playing time if he was on a team coached by Kansas State’s Bill Snyder.  While Coach Snyder is well-known for his winning record on the field, it’s what he does off the field that is even most important; he mentors young people and helps them build lives of character.

Over his years of coaching, Snyder has developed his 16 Goals for Success, and I find the first three on this list absent from much of our egocentric society:16g

  1. Commitment: To common goals and to being successful.
  2. Unselfishness: There is no “I” in TEAM.
  3. Unity: Come together as never before.

After Kansas State defeated Texas A&M in the Texas Bowl, Snyder commented: Good things happen when we play as a family.  This is more than a sound bite, it’s a theme that’s at the core of Snyder’s legacy.

When the University and Alumni wanted to name the Stadium in the coach’s honor, Snyder agreed, but with one stipulation; it had to include the word family, so it was christened, Bill Snyder Family Football Stadium.

As a Coach, Snyder strives for the harmonious sound of the symphony, and he has little room for the narcissist’s one-man band. Snyder’s philosophy is a practical application of a New Testament principle that I encourage you to embrace: Each of you as a good manager must use the gift that God has given you to serve others. ~I Peter 4:10

A is for Apple

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apple-bobbing-boys-1920x675I was enjoying the sweet taste of apples long before I had ever participated in the homespun, spit-swapping, and germ-spreading, tradition of apple bobbing. Fact is, I almost drowned a time or two while I chased an apple around the inside of a water-filled wood barrel.

Apples are a tasty delight and a welcome addition to most diets, and they are also a definite plus to the pocket books of Washington farmers.  The typical orchard will produce 37,100 pounds per acre with a value somewhere between $12,500-$13,000.  The fertile ground of Washington contributes $18 billion plus to the state’s economy in apples alone.

When I eat an apple, my preference is Jonathan, Fuji, or Honeycrisp, but I doubt David had a specific variety in mind when he prayed: Keep me as the apple of your eye, and hide me in the shadow of your wings (Psalm 17:8).

As the apple of God’s eye, you are so special to God that:

  • He is aware of your sorrows—Psalm 56:8
  • He likens your prayers to the sweet smell of incense—Revelation 5:8
  • He floods your heart with His love—Romans 5:5
  • He blesses you with His mercy—Psalm 57:10

From out of all the orchards in the world, you are the apple that God has picked, and it is, “According to His great mercy, He has given us [you] a new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead and into an inheritance that is imperishable, uncorrupted, and unfading, kept in heaven for you (I Peter 1:3-4).”

The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their cry          ~Psalm 34:15

The ME in Mentor

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mentoring-pic-1Since I believe every knife should be a sharp knife, I keep a good edge on the one I carry in my pocket.  Whenever I sharpen it, I think of an analogy from the Proverbs: As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another (Psalm 22:17).

You can validate the truth of this analogy by walking down the aisle of your local grocery store.  The shelves are stocked with many products that bear the Procter and Gamble name.

William Procter was a candle maker and James Gamble made soap.  The two of them became in-laws when they married the Norris sisters.  Through the encouragement of their father-in-law, they formed a partnership, and Procter and Gamble has been selling household products since 1837.

My HP computer is another good example.  Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard were classmates in Stanford’s engineering program.  When they graduated, Fred Terman, a professor at Standford, encouraged them to pursue their dreams, and they founded Hewlett and Packard in 1939.

Neither of these famous partnerships may have been formed had it not been for the guidance and encouragement of an acquaintance or mentor who helped to hone and fine tune their skills. With this in mind, let me share the razor-sharp wisdom of two men:

  • John Maxwell: One of the greatest values of mentors is the ability to see ahead what others cannot see and to help them navigate a course to their destination.
  • Isaac Newton: If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.

I encourage you to invest in the lives of others.  Allow them to stand on your shoulders; pick your brain; lend a listening ear; nudge them in the right direction; and, help them to clarify their vision and pursue their dream.

Everybody needs somebody to help them along life’s journey.  If there had been no Ben, would Jerry have ever made ice cream?  The world of comedy would be different if  Abbott  had never met Costello. How would Calvin have survived childhood without Hobbes?

Where would you be if someone had not been the ME in Mentor for you? Make this year the year you make a difference in the life of another.

As we have opportunity, we must work for the good of all, especially for those who belong to the household of faith. ~Galatians 6:10

Abbott & Costello Who’s on first skit.

The Gratitude List

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Like most mornings, I started today with a cup of coffee and my Bible. While I was reading, I thought about God’s wonderful deeds for mankind, and my lack of gratitude:

 

Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.

~Psalm 107:8-9

This morning I give thanks to these people I’ve never met:

  • Thomas Edison for the light that shines about my head.
  • Benjamin Franklin for the glasses I wear.
  • The Wright brothers and their work in the field of aviation.
  • Charles Babbage, the Father of Computers
  • James Watt for his inventive mind that gave us the steam engine.
  • Alexander Bell who gave the first truly functional telephone.
  • Galileo because his genius improved accuracy of the compass; without which I’d still be lost in the wilderness.
  • Henry Ford and his “moving assembly line” which allowed for the mass production of automobiles.
  • Willis Carrier for the air conditioning that I enjoy during the hot and humid summer days.

Expressing gratitude and giving thanks are themes that run throughout the pages of the Bible. In his second letter to Timothy, Paul wrote: I thank God . . .  as I remember you 2constantly in my prayers night and day (1:3).

I encourage you to mimic Paul: Take some time today to reflect on the past year; express your gratitude, and say thanks to those who have helped you along the way and made your life a little easier.

Second Hand News

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timeThe rhythmic and timely sound of a ticking second hand has been hushed by the advance of technology and the proliferation of digital watches. The value of a second isn’t found in its sound but in the action that transpires within this brief span of time that’s 1/86400th of a day and 1/60th of a minute.

Most people don’t give a second thought to the length of a second, but something unusual will happen on New Year’s Eve. When clocks strikes midnight in England, the final minute of 2016 will be 61 seconds long to adjust the world clock to the correct time.

Just how important is a second?

  • If you’re an astronaut it’s important since the speed of light travels at 18600 feet per second ( At the speed of light, the moon is about 1.5 seconds from the earth)
  • If you like hot rods, you know that a fraction of a second is the difference between winning and losing at the drag strip.
  • If you play baseball, one second is the time it takes for a baseball to leave the pitcher’s hand, get hit by the batter, and then be line-driven back to the pitcher.
  • Beekeepers think of one second as the time it takes for a honey bee to flap its wings 200 times.
  • One second is the amount of the time it takes for the earth to receive 48,600,000,000kw of energy form the sun (kilowatt = 1000 watts).

What is one second?  It’s the time it takes to say three words: “Goodbye and Hello.” When you bid farewell to 2016 and roll out the welcome mat to 2017, I hope you’ll take a second to turn a frown into a smile; change a bad impulse into a good one; and to say a simple “God bless you” to the person who is on your heart and in your mind.

Psalm 90:12: Teach us to number our days carefully, so that we may develop wisdom in our hearts 

Goodbye to the Prince, the Princess, and the Greatest

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armedandsexyleia-officialpixAmong the many events that have happened during 2016, the most important to some people was the death of the idol they adored; for some it was a singer named Prince, for others it was the death of Princess Leia (Carrie Fisher), and boxing fans had to bid farewell to The Greatest—Muhammad Ali. There was also the death of an author who was less heralded than these whose obituaries were printed in newspapers from the East coast to the West.

While he was well-known in some circles, Jerry Bridges, the author, did not have the notoriety of the Prince and the Princess, but he did know The Greatest One who is greater than any other; and, Bridges had found what proves to be elusive to some—the secret of peace and contentment.

Bridges was a prolific writer who said: “The Bible is full of God’s promises to provide for us spiritually and materially, to never forsake us, to give us peace in times of difficult circumstances, to cause all circumstances to work together for our good, and finally to bring us safely home to glory. Not one of those promises is dependent upon our performance. They are all dependent on the grace of God given to us through Jesus Christ.”

The words of the Princess are a stark contrast to those of Bridges: “I knew better than I knew anything that what happens with stardom, with fame, is it goes away, and it leaves you in a humiliated space (Carrie Fisher 2006).”

Fisher’s assessment on life, reminds me of Solomon’s wisdom: Charm can be deceptive and physical beauty will not last, but a woman who reveres the Lord should be praised above all others. ~Proverbs 31:30

It’s a simple truth that this world offers nothing akin to genuine contentment.  Your health and wealth can vanish in a moment; fame is fickle; and the bright lights of Hollywood and Broadway fade away.

“Real contentment,” Warren Wiersbe said, “must come from within. You and I cannot change or control the world around us, but we can change and control the world within us.”  The “within” that Wiersbe spoke of is “the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, and will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).

If you’re restless, and feel as though there is a void in your life, I encourage you to give God’s peace a chance.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. ~Jeremiah 29:11

 

 

Resolute Resolutions

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ResolutionsChristmas is now past, and the sights and scents of the season have been crowded into the pages of history by the hopeful sounds of labor pains announcing the imminent birth of a new year.  Among these sounds are the voices of the optimistic and determined who announce their resolutions for the new year.

Some will achieve the goals they’ve set for 2020, while the not so resolute will bury theirs beneath the dust pile of defeat.  A few words from the wise might hint at the difference between the two:

  • Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday. ~Napoleon Hill
  • For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” ~Steve Jobs
  • Kenneth Chenault, CEO of American Express, planned for success. Before he left his office at the end of the day, he would jot down the top three things he wanted to accomplish the next day.
  • The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Tony Robbins has said that the key to directing your life, is to recognize and control your consistent actions: It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.

To reach your goals, I suggest you need to perceive to achieve:  Identify what you are already doing and use it as a cue to prompt the appropriate action. Your daily routine is a good example:

  • After I pour my first cup of coffee, I will walk on the treadmill for 15 minutes.
  • Before I take my shower, I will do 10 pushups.
  • While I am eating breakfast, I will _____________.
  • When I take my coffee break, I will ____________.
  • Before I go to bed I will read ____ pages in a book.

If you are considering resolutions and goals to help you change and rearrange your life, I applaud your effort and leave you with two more quotes to serve as motivators:

  • Arthur Ashe: Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
  • Thomas Edison: Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

Let us search out and examine our ways,
and turn back to the Lord. ~Lamentations 3:40